Don't believe what you see on TV...
Or what you hear on the news...
Or what people tell you who you don't agree with...
TRUST YOUR EYES, NOT THE LIES
Whether you know him by Sasquatch, Yeti, or that guy with the back hair at the gym who always wears tank tops but shouldn.t, you don't know the whole story. You only know WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO KNOW.
Bigfoot isn't just real. He's DEAD REAL. And you can thank our god-blessed American government for that. There's enough dead people for us to know that UNCLE SAM has blood on his hands, but did you ever think of the blood that wasn't human? The blood that was... BIGGER than human?
FACT: America hates the commies.
FACT: America will do anything to stop the freedom that their economic system provides
FACT: The American government MADE Bigfoot. And then theY MADE HIM... DEAD.
You see, he was a lab creation. Half man. Half hair. All Bigfoot. He was gonna be our next great weapon. Our next atomic bomb in the form of an eight foot giant with a 10000PSI punch and patriotic capitalist intents running through his veins. But at some part Bigfoot started acting a little RED for the RED WHITE AND BLUE. If you know what I mean? And then he was put down.
I mean, do you really think Gurney Sanders and Elizabeth WarHymn were the first people to think up medicare for all? That the political perpetual motion machine could churn out an idea THAT innovative, to be parroted by their sheeple puppets THAT often, to then be eaten by the unassuming public like chewed cud from the supple lips of the capitalist bovine THAT WE ALL KNOW as the MAJOR NEWS MEDIA?
Before universal healthcare was a HOT TOPIC SPEAKING POINT for your local "presidential debate" it was the stance that Bigfoot took that landed him in trouble. DEAD TROUBLE. Shot to death in the Santa Cruz Mountains. The same exact mountains where hwas berthed.
But Bigfoot couldn't rest. And now he's back, once a month, to haunt those that wronged him. And to eat small forest rodents and stuff. So next time you're in those mountains above Elk Meadows on a full moon evening. Know that you're not alone.
And now that you -- our loyal followers -- know the truth, I know that I'm not alone either. (Although in the literal sense, I am usually alone. So lemme know if you wanna hang out or something)